top of page

Manly vs. Male Femininity


In the past week, I’ve been contemplating an article concerning the root nature of masculinity. Forgive me if I’m 20 or 30 years late in bringing up this subject, but particularly in the past couple of years, I’ve noticed a rapid escalation of male feminization. Everywhere you look, there are many men, who like it or not, take on a feminine appearance. 

The Problem

Look at America’s fatherless statistics right now. From two separate and reputable websites, I found that over one-third of all children in America will grow up in a fatherless home. In an efficient home where both parents abide, you’ll find that on average the boys will eventually take after the father while the daughters will take after the mother. In a home where the father is not present, a young boy’s only obtainable hero to revere, idolize, and copy is his mother.

Clothing models do not provide the right message.  Call me opinionated, but I abhore the modern male supermodels that have girlish hair, feminine glasses, wearing a pink shirt and girly flip-flops.  Those of the muscular variety have no chest hair; they've literally removed their masculinity. (Side note: younger readers or those of differing nationalities may not have chest hair.  This is not evil or weird as long as it is naturally non-existant.)


Television is worse. Those celebrities who vaguely resemble men tend to talk like sailors, degrade women, and strive for manliness through punishing their own bodies with tattoos, excessive alcohol, cigarettes, and tobacco chaws. 

On the flipside of the coin for example, you have the televised children’s shows such as the Teletubbies. Besides there being no real difference between the females and males, making a clear uni-sexual statement, allegations were made by popular conservative Jerry Falwell in 1999 that Tinky-winkie was a children’s homosexual role model. Some of the basis for this accusation are the gay pride symbol of the triangle over his head, the purple coloring, and the carrying of a purse.

As I was searching for resources for this article, I ran across an article from which I will be quoting from. It is an interview by Steven Waldman from

[Modern] Christianity has basically communicated to men that the reason God put you on this earth is to be a good boy. Mind your manners, be a nice guy. That's soul killing! It's not true, and for a man to hear the message that the greatest achievement of his life is simply not rocking the boat, not offending anyone, not taking any risks but just being a genuinely swell guy--that kills him.

His nature is made for something much more dramatic. Here's how you can tell: look at the…films men love. Boys want risk, adventure, danger, exploration. Why do men love maps? Women don't love maps.

[The movies men watch] involve a challenge, a great battle, something to be won, some deep hardship to be faced and overcome. That's the soul of a man.

Good grief, look at the images we've been given of Jesus Christ, particularly from our Sunday school years. The pictures of Jesus we were given--in fact, the only pictures of Jesus I have ever seen of Jesus in any church--are 'gentle Jesus, meek and mild.' He's got a lamb on his shoulders. Or he's sitting in a field with children on his knees, looking for all the world like Mr. Rogers with a beard! He's the sweetest guy you could possibly meet. And men can't relate to that, frankly.

It's a very inaccurate reading of Jesus. He's called the Lion of Judah, for heaven's sake. When he comes back, the scriptures describe him as riding a white horse with his robe dipped in blood! He is not sweet. He's loving, but he is also fierce and immensely brave. 
Men are just desperate to hear a message of freedom, passion, validation. Even better, women are writing and calling, saying, "I don't know what you did to my husband, but I'll take him and you can keep the other one."

Ultimately, where this message comes out is, God made men in the image of his strength. Not just big muscles--I mean soulful strength, courage, daring, and a fierceness.


It was men who stopped slavery. It was men who ran up the stairs in the Twin Towers to rescue people. It was men who gave up their seats on the lifeboats of the Titanic. Men are made to take risks and live passionately on behalf of others. Ultimately, I'm not encouraging selfishness. I'm saying, go get your heart back so you can offer it to those you love.I was rock climbing with my three sons. They love to climb. They're going to climb anything anyway--the fence, the refrigerator, the neighbors. So we sanctify it and do it up right with ropes at some rocks near our house. Sam is a typical first born, somewhat cautious, hesitant and fearful.

He was climbing up the rock. He's perfectly safe; he couldn't fall more than four inches because of the rope. But when you get up there you feel the height and it's a little hairy.

He hits this one spot where he gets scared. "I think I ought to back down." I said, "If you want to come back down, come on down." He was beginning to get teary. I said, "There's no pressure. You've got nothing to prove. Let's try something else."

He says, "No, I want to do this."

You know that shop talk sometimes men do with sons? "Hey, great move!" I was doing that, and said, "Hey, you are a wild man!"

He makes it to the top. Maybe 15 minutes later he sort of sidles up to me and says, "Dad, did you really think I was a wild man up there?"
That is the question that every boy is asking, in some way, of his father. The boy wants to know, "Am I real man? Do I have what it takes?"

Every man needs a battle to fight, an adventure to live and a beauty to rescue.


The Solution


1. Eat Healthy.  Eat healthy, whole foods. Studies show that many chemicals in our everyday use and consumption can contain gene and DNA feminine altering chemicals. As a rule of thumb, try to eat straight from the source instead of ‘Twinkie’ preserved and packaged foods. Buy soaps and shampoos that do not contain petroleum and other chemicals. These can easily be found at health stores.

2. Get Outside. If you don’t have much acreage to just get outside and go for a walk, visit and consider taking an adventure trip at a local park. Go caving, mountain biking, camping, hiking, canoeing, tubing, or fishing.

3. Get a project. During the intermittent, hard hormonal changes of the teenage years, having an ongoing, masculine project is a good way to escape for 30 minutes or an hour a day and just unwind. Here are a few ideas:

>  Restoration. There can be a lot of money made in vehicle restoration. Jeeps prior to the mid-late 1980’s are particularly easy and fun to work on. Boats can also be restored and resold at profitable amounts. 

>  Save. Men are goal oriented. Give yourself a goal, whether it be to take lessons for something such as obtaining your scuba diving permit, obtain your pilots’ license, or saving up for your first vehicle.

>  Gardening. Gardening is not a girl thing. Remember, Adam was the first farmer in history. 

>  Get a Pet. It’s possible to raise chickens to sell either their meat or eggs. There is a large market for organic cow milk, beef, lamb, goat, or rabbits. If you’re just not cut out to be a farmer, consider at least getting a dog. There have been many times that my dog would just sit with me and help me think out my situations. Dogs are understanding, protective of you and your family, and they will serve as a good learning curve on how to raise your future children and treat your friends. 

bottom of page